Everyone's Favorite Aunt Peggy

Famous Last Words

melge:

Compiled with bleak! Comedy.

“Aw fuck, this fucking hang nail…”

“OOOh, here it is. Honey, you’ll never guess where I found the -“

“You can’t kill me, I guessed right!”

“Great! So we have a deal.”

“Oh man, I LOVE the Dollar Menu!”

“Hey, you’re Kareem Abdul-Jabbar!”

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have cancer.”

“Don’t worry, they always land on their feet.”

“Don’t worry, he’s blind.”

“I hate big head mode, it makes everything look so unrealistic.”

“Wait a second….this is a contract…for…”

“No, how bout I tell YOU how it’s gonna go!”

“Yeah, SHOW me what you’re gonna do about it.”

“Is it in yet?”

“This poison tastes funny”

“Does anyone else smell gas?”

“Mom!?”

“I think I’m pretty drunk.”

“Why is that guy driving on the wrong side of the road”

“No no no, you do that for grizzly bears.”

“I’m not afraid of lions.”

“No, No, I’ve done this before.”

“I can hold my breath even longer.”

“Look how deep I can stick this gun down my throat.”

“This is a huge sandwich”

“I think it’s a Norwich Terrier.”

“Am I bleeding?”

“Oh my God I travelled back in time to the land of the Dinosaurs!”

“Okay, I’ll play, what is the most dangerous game?”

“I always win Russian Roulette”

“My only regret is that I have but one life to give for my country….alright push the button over 
there…no to your left…right…yeah, there.”

“Is that Mike Tyson?”

“This milk isn’t expired.”

“We should go to Carvel after this!”

“The wheels on the bus go round and -“

“Pretend to drown me!”

“I disagree.”

“Hey, I found the snakes!”

“Why am I on a plate? Oh my god, you’re huge!”

“Hey, space is awesome!”

“This is the best birthday ever!”

“Just get in the car!”

“I don’t listen to hip hop, sorry man.”

“This worked in The Fast and The Furious.”

“Hang on, it’s loading.”

“It’s sleeping.”

“Let’s take the stairs.”

“Check out my new deck!”

“Yeah, they’re scratch and sniff!”

“I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

“Did I just see you guys kiss?”

“Since when do I need a reason?”

“Oh, dude, you know who you look like?”

“Dat Phan?”

“Is that a laser pointer?”

“Let me shoot you in the face with a shotgun.”

“Well if you shoot me, you’ll never know the answer.”

“Yeah, I’ll play a game.”

“Alright, my note’s done.”

“No, no, it’s supposed to glow.”

“Ooh, bunnies!”

“You know what pisses me off?”

“It’s called ‘origami’.”

“Ooh, a Blimpie’s”

“Lock your doors.”

“No I don’t have any FUCKING CHANGE.”

“This is my favorite Weird Al song.”

“So you’re saying I masturbate and then choke myself”

“I’m flatlining!”

“Oh my god, ghosts are real!”

Darren Miller

This is old.. but this night was so fun and makes me think of good times in the old bleak! headquarters.. so i’m reblogging it… also follow Melge because it’s awesome

17 November 2009 reblog: melge


November 18, 2009

schoolnight:

Jill Donnelly
Giulia Rozzi
Jamie Killstein
Aaron Glaser
Benjonica
Ridgefield Talent Night
Peggy O’Leary
CHIM
Michael Sanchez
Hannibal Burress

Shit do you see that line up.. Hannibal Burress and Me in one night.. holy shit i just crapped my pants a little… jesus frank it was only a little f*You frank

*there is no frank he is not real

17 November 2009 reblog: schoolnight


Seven Oaks My short film i finished last spring is headed to the Max Opheles Preis Festival in Germany!

Also I am doing Stand Up tomorrow (Wednesday) at UCBT’s School Night @ 11pm. Don’t even come for me come for all the other awesome people on the line up… will show in next post

Seven Oaks My short film i finished last spring is headed to the Max Opheles Preis Festival in Germany!

Also I am doing Stand Up tomorrow (Wednesday) at UCBT’s School Night @ 11pm. Don’t even come for me come for all the other awesome people on the line up… will show in next post

17 November 2009


bleakcomedy:

Mike and Peggy during  very late practice.

oh Bleak! COME FRIDAY TO UCB and see this live!

bleakcomedy:

Mike and Peggy during  very late practice.

oh Bleak! COME FRIDAY TO UCB and see this live!

21 October 2009 reblog: bleakcomedy


5 October 2009


yonilotan:

paulbriganti:

bleakcomedy:

New Bleak! video. Three years in the making.

YEAH!

I think this was the first Bleak! sketch I ever wrote. We’ve tried to retire it but somehow keeps coming back. Nothing can break an audience in like downright baby smooshing.

Murder is the Funniest!

YEAH DEAD NIECES!!! this is also starring my lovely living nieces Phoebe and Maddie and also there baby cousin Olivia!

5 October 2009 reblog: bleakcomedy


29 September 2009


24 September 2009


21 September 2009


1 September 2009